Aluredian
43
formulated a number of useful and effective
strategies to aid any unsuspecting shopper who
is pounced upon by the predators that lurk
within the shops.
1) Pretend to be deaf, and shout "WHAT?!"
loudly in the face of anyone that
approaches.
2) Loudly exclaim "I will NOT help you sell
drugs to children!"
3) Threaten to sue (in America, the standard
response to offence is to sue the offending
party).
4) If you are a woman, protest loudly that you
are being harassed by the attendant.
Alternatively, do what I just did, and leave the
shop. Surprisingly, I actually managed to get a
lot of shopping done during my stay.
As soon as I returned to England, I had to buy
a pair of shoes. Bracing myself for the
onslaught of irritating familiarity, I entered the
shop. There was none of the expected attack.
Becoming braver, I ventured deeper into the
shop and asked after a pair of shoes. The
attendants were surly and uncommunicative,
and the cashier overcharged me £5. I was in
heaven. I was back home.
Chapel
by Charlotte Ng
We all sing in here
With old hymns of ancient past
Then we say God's prayer
Taylor house
by Augusta
Hydleman
Mrs Butler calls,
Roll call hangs on my wrist watch,
Always welcome home.
The Science
Department
by Jordan Clayton
Potions and lotions,
Mammals, birds, fish and insects,
Explosions and implosions.
Headmaster's
Office
by Rosita Dymond
Big and important
Five credits and you enter
What's it like in there?
Rugby
by William Bishop
Running up the wing
Oh my God, that guy is big!
What do I do now? 3rd form haikus
Lara Rodgers GCSE